So Drumpf has COVID19. The most surprising thing about this is how long it took for him to get it. It was never a question of IF he was going to get it, it was a question of WHEN. He’s been ignoring scientists and doctors about taking precautions against the virus (masks, social distancing) for MONTHS, thereby causing the additional deaths of untold thousands of Americans that SHOULD be alive today had he done the right thing all along. It’s amazing that with all the contacts he’s had that more people in and around the White House haven’t been infected until now.
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AKA The Annual Gripe I hate receiving gifts. I really do. Every fucking year I go through this. I absolutely dread every birthday, every Christmas. Every. Single. Year. I hate getting gifts because most of them are, to put it bluntly, not worth the paper they’re wrapped in. Why is this? Am I such a hard person to buy for? No, actually. I’m a very practical person; gifts that I can use are the best, such as: GIFT CARDS. I am the easiest person in the world to buy for. Get me a gift card and I’m as happy as a clam! Provided that it’s not for a store I never go to. For example: I once got a gift card to Starbucks; I hate coffee. I don’t even like the smell. I used to live downwind from a coffee roaster, it was disgusting! Just walking into a Starbucks now is likely to make me gag. That was a bad gift. Number One on my Xmas Wish List this year: Amazon Gift Cards. Number Two on my Xmas Wish List: See number one. That’s IT! That’s ALL I asked for. Did ANYBODY pay attention to this? NO. Now, some people think gift cards are bad gifts to begin with because they’re “impersonal,” they “don’t speak to the uniqueness of the individual,” or “the giver was lazy,” etc. These are most likely the same people who don’t spend the time and effort to find truly personal, unique items. Unfortunately, most people just aren’t very good at this, for a variety of reasons. But the really bad ones glom onto one part of your life and think that speaks for the rest of it. What you liked when you were 13 does not automatically translate to your 40s. For example: I have a cat. I love cats, always have. When I was a kid I got a stuffed Pink Panther toy. Do I collect cat-themed items? NO. However, to this day, I routinely get cat-themed gifts, like t-shirts or ceramic figurines. What am I supposed to do with these? Seriously! I have more t-shirts than I need, I will never wear them all, they just sit in a drawer! And why would I want a fake cat that sits on the shelf and gathers dust when I have a real one I can cuddle with? These are also bad gifts. In fact, these are the truly impersonal gifts. They show an obvious lack of imagination, sincerity, and a serious lack of effort. I know what you might be thinking; it’s the thought that counts. I should be grateful they wanted to give me anything. Well, true enough. But let me ask you: If it is the thought that counts, then why was so little thought put into it? Just because this individual likes X does not mean they will also like Y. That is no thought, that is no effort; that is an assumption. Here’s the kicker: if you want to give a good gift, you CANNOT make assumptions. If they’re family or a good friend, you should know by now what they’d like. If you don’t know them that well, or really just have no clue, then go practical! Give them something they can use! It shows you care enough to give them a gift, but not something completely irrelevant. This is where gift cards come in. If you don’t like the generic Visa/MasterCard/American Express, then get a card for a store that you KNOW they will visit. Wawa, Rite Aid, grocery stores! Do they have a car? Then get a gift card to literally ANY major gas station. These are particularly good gifts for coworkers and people you only see a few times a year. They’re also perfect for people you DO know that are basically begging for simple, practical gifts. So what happens to those bad gifts I mentioned? Normally, it’s one of two things. They get re-gifted, or donated to a thrift store. On rare occasions they might get sold online; a Fitbit I won at the company party I ended up selling on eBay because it wasn't compatible with my phone. That Starbucks gift card went to a friend of mine who loves coffee; he was very appreciative and used it the next day. The cat stuff went to a thrift store. No way around that, I don't know anybody that collects cat stuff. This is what happens if you’re not very good at gift giving. The other side of this coin is that there are people that are really good at giving gifts. Surprise surprise; I am one of those people. I am the type of person who will pay close attention to what people say/do, all year long. I examine wish lists with a microscope, cross-check it with other sources, and buy stuff way too early and hold onto it for months. For example: my ex and his brother once talked (around Easter) about a game they used to play a lot when they were kids but no longer had and was out of print. I went online to research it, eventually found and bought a copy off eBay, and it sat in the closet for months until Christmas. They were so blown away that I’d found it that they insisted we play it right away. It was hilarious. Two men in their 40s going bonkers over a game about pigs! This is what I do. I am a generous person; I really do like to see the reaction to a gift that has been specifically tailored for maximum impact. I put major effort into this because I enjoy it. I go out of my way to find truly unique items, where the recipient looks at me, wide-eyed and incredulous, exclaiming “OMG!” or “where did you find this!?!?” On the outside I'll grin, shrug, and say "glad you like it" while on the inside I'm doing back flips in the end zone! This is the whole point; this is my way of expressing affection for my loved ones. I am the Gold Standard of Gift Giving. Having said that, let me state for the record: THIS IS NOT A CHALLENGE. Dear friends and family, PLEASE...know that you are not obligated to try to “beat” me in this; it is not a competition. If you do try, you are more likely to fail in your endeavor. Trying to outdo me in this is not a good idea. Going overboard with quantity is also not necessary. So please, for everyone’s sanity, if you MUST get a gift for someone that you don't know well (or can't compete with, LOL), make it a gift card. You’ll thank me for that later. Here are a few thoughts I’d like to get off my chest:
Ø Never get into a political argument with a fundamentalist Christian – they don’t believe in reason. Maybe that’s why they’re fundamentalist Christians. Ø American public schools SUCK. Think I’m wrong? Then explain to me how a kid of average intelligence can actually graduate from a normal, American high school, but can only read at a third grade level. This happened near me recently, and I’m completely disgusted. Ø Why do some guys have no spine? Figuratively speaking, of course. There is nothing worse than seeing a full-grown man cave in to his domineering Significant Other, over and over and over again. Friggin’ jellyfish – grow a backbone! Sheez. Obama was born in Hawaii. Remember Hawaii? A collection of islands out in the Pacific with volcanoes and waterfalls and stuff? It’s the 50th state, which means it is part of the United States. Just because his Hawaiian birth certificate looks different from yours doesn’t mean it’s not real – every state has them set up differently; changes in their appearance do not negate their validity.
Oh and by the way, before any more “birthers” out there start screaming some other nonsense, chew on this for awhile: John McCain was born in Panama. It was on a military base which is “politically” US “soil”, but not geographically – thus, he was born outside of the USA. Obama was born inside the USA, in a proper US state. So shut up already. |
AuthorDonna Davis Archives
December 2019
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