1. I do not like make-up. I don’t like the feel of it on my skin, the time it takes to put it on, and I especially don’t like the outrageous prices they charge for it! I also don’t like the insinuation that because I don’t have naturally perfect skin then I must use make-up to give the illusion of it (which never works, by the way – there’s no such thing as “invisible” makeup). I also don’t like being told I look good with it on. Please! Everybody who uses makeup looks good with it, that’s the whole point. That statement, however, makes it sound like I look like total crap without it – I’m no model, but come on! It really doesn’t make that much of a difference.
2. I rarely accessorize. Specifically, this means I am not a jewelry person, but it can also include belts, scarves, hats and purses. I have several necklaces in my jewelry box that I rarely touch, not because I don’t like them but because I just can’t be bothered to root through them every day, so I drag them out only for special occasions. I also have a bunch of earrings that I never wear, mainly because I only got one ear pierced. However, some years back when I worked at a bank (read: Conformity Central), they frowned on having only one ear pierced so I had to get the other one done, or go without. I went without, and the hole closed up. One of these days I’ll get it reopened but it’s not a high priority for me.
3. I am not fond of babies, so I’d very much appreciate it if you didn’t ask me if I want to hold your newborn. I don’t, so I won’t. Please don’t take this as a slight against you or your offspring, it just means I don’t want to hold your kid. Period. There’s nothing more to it than that. Babies hold no fascination for me at all, they never have. I don’t want to cuddle with them; I can do that with my cat. In fact, the whole parenting thing has never interested me, and I knew that even when I was a child. I didn’t play with dolls much as a kid, and I babysat the neighbors’ kids even less. To expound upon this a bit more, I do not want to have kids of my own. Just because I have a uterus does not mean I have to use it. Also, not having children does not mean I have less of a life than you, nor does it mean that you should pity me. Would you want me to pity your choice to have kids? “Oh, look at the parents! It’s so sad; they have no life of their own anymore!” See what I mean?
4. I do not like pink. Purple is fine, I have no problem with purple, but pink? Forget it. If pressed on choosing a favorite color I might say green, but I prefer black for pretty much everything. Most of my clothes are black. I have black plates, mugs, flatware, towels, sheets, blankets, even our shower curtain. Don’t like my choice of color? Too bad. It’s what I like, it’s what I prefer. I’m not buying anything in pink just to please you.
5. I don’t like cooking. I’m not bad at it, but I’m also not very good at it, either. I cook out of necessity, when I have to, and I try to add spices to make it more interesting, but I’m not a chef. As such, please don’t assume that I would jump at the chance to make you a meal, because that’s not going to happen. Dinner parties are not my forte, I’d rather order in.